Homeless Veteran gains stability and starts non-profit to help Veterans

Esther Frias received help from VA homeless programs

Veteran Esther Frias grew up in Los Angeles after her parents immigrated from Mexico. She remembers watching news coverage of the 1992 Los Angeles riots with her father.

“He would always say, ‘I can’t wait for my kids to be in the military and serve this great country,’” she recalled. That early message stayed with her. After the Sept. 11 attacks, Frias felt compelled to serve, and just months after giving birth to her first son, she headed to Navy boot camp.

From 2009-2011, Frias was stationed overseas, leaving behind her then 7-year-old son. During her deployment, Frias experienced military sexual trauma (MST), but her combat mindset kept her going.

“We suck it up and drive on,” Frias said. But when she returned home, the impact of both combat and MST quickly surfaced.

“When I came back, I was very different. I was drinking a lot, I wasn’t as sociable, I was super irritated all the time, and I was mad and angry at men.”

Understanding her own story

Still determined to move forward, she pursued a bachelor’s degree in social work and tried to readjust to civilian life. There, she learned more about PTSD and shared what she discovered with her now 9-year-old son to help him understand what she had been through.

After a scare that she might lose custody, Frias began taking therapy more seriously. She then secured a job helping launch the Military and Veteran Success Center at Imperial Valley College.

“That’s something that I see with a lot of our parent Veterans. They’re afraid to get help because they feel like their kids are going to be removed from them,” Frias said.

A turning point at VA Stand Down

When Frias lost her job at the Military and Veteran Success Center, her brother and best friend encouraged her to seek help from VA San Diego Healthcare System. There, she met a Veteran who told her that she reminded him of his daughter.

“He touched my hand, and he said, ‘You’re gonna be fine, kiddo…’ When I got out, he’s the one that introduced me to Stand Downs and that’s where my life changed completely,” Frias said.

Stand Down events offer food, clothing, health screenings, and services to homeless and at-risk Veterans. Frias attended every event she could, eventually meeting her case manager who helped place her and her son in stable housing. Frias recalled the relief she felt being able to watch her son walk to school from their new home’s window.

Healing, support and building stability

With housing secured, Frias began rebuilding her life. She took a job working with foster youth in a group home and connected with Housing and Urban Development and Veterans Affairs Supportive Housing (HUD-VASH) through VA. She attended Alcoholics Anonymous, MST groups, combat Veteran groups and expressive art sessions.

“I started being more intentional and applying the tools that my therapist and my psychiatrist would have me do. I did everything: cognitive behavior therapy, Prolonged Exposure and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, and it was just great. Everything was great. I’ve learned a lot of skills to be intentional, present and cope with a lot of my triggers.”

As she continued to heal, Frias learned about VA home loans and was able to buy a home with her 18-year-old son who saved $18,000. “Ever since then, I’ve just grown so much,” Frias said.

A mission fueled by experience

Frias eventually launched her own nonprofit, VetConnect to serve Veterans and their families in Imperial County, Calif. She says the goal is to ensure Veterans and families have the stability, connection and support they deserve through resources and outreach.

“I just never want any Veteran or family member to feel powerless like I did,” Frias said. “So, it’s been amazing and it’s just fuel to my soul.”

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